Self-talk is a mix of conscious and unconscious thoughts we have about ourselves and things happening around us. These thoughts are ways for us to communicate with our inner selves, and they influence the way to feel and carry ourselves.
Self-talk can be positive and negative. Take a minute and remind yourself of your last thoughts. What was it, and how did it make you feel? Were they kind and positive words, or were they distressing and destructive?
Usually, the way we talk to ourselves depends on our personality and emotions. If you are an optimistic person, your talks may be kind and positive. However, if you are going through tough times or worry a lot, they may not be as encouraging.
Words are powerful, especially if they are your own. If you find yourself having negative thoughts or talking to yourself in a discouraging way, it's time you make a few changes.
Negative Self-talk and how to avoid it
If your self-talks are usually negative, you may be overthinking and creating unnecessary stress for yourself. It is likely that you are overseeing positive aspects of your life and focusing only on negative points- this can be very damaging to our mental health.
There are several things you can do to avoid negative self-talk.
- - Start by becoming more aware of your thoughts and what you say to yourself. Most of the time, your thoughts are just your thoughts. All those negative things you tell yourself are probably not even true. So, be honest and ask yourself- are they true?
- - If it turns out that your thoughts are true, rather than stressing over what could've been, try to focus on finding a solution. Think about what you can do to make things better and use this situation as an opportunity for you to learn and grow.
- - Keep a journal and write down your thoughts. On those days where you are feeling overwhelmed, take a different approach, and jot down your thoughts. Journaling is a highly effective method to lay out how you are genuinely feeling without being judged. It will also help you track and identify your triggers, and you will hopefully be able to control them better in the future.
- - Replace your negative thoughts and statements with something neutral and positive. Start by replacing your harsh words with more neutral words, for instance saying "dislike" instead of "hate" or replacing "incompetent" with "inexperienced".
- Similarly, if find yourself reciting self-limiting statements such as "I can't do this" or "this is hard", replace those statements with "how do I resolve this" and "how do I make this possible".
Nowadays, many of us are practising daily affirmations and meditations for positive thinking, and for very good reason. Positive self-talk is a great way to boost our self-confidence and look after our general wellbeing. They can help us tackle challenging situations with a more "I can" attitude as well as helps us think creatively and openly to find different solutions.
Positive self-talk is not about thinking or believing you are indestructible and have a solution for everything. Instead, it's about changing the way you see things and approaching different things in your life with a can-do attitude.
Here are some positive self-talk phrases you should try daily:
- I am healthy and capable to get through this.
- This is an excellent opportunity for me to learn and grow.
- I am determined to get this done to my best ability.
- I still have a lot to learn, but look at how far I have come along.
- Although it did not go as planned, I am proud of myself for having enough courage to attempt this.
- No matter what happens, I know I can make it.
- I am confident that I can do anything I set my mind to.
Before we move on, you should know that positive self-talk may sound different for each one of us. What will work for you may not work for someone else, and vice versa. To find the right phrases, you must understand what your triggers are and how you are genuinely feeling. Try different approaches and find the one that works best for you.
We hope after reading this article, you have a better understanding of how essential self-talks are for your wellbeing. If you are struggling with negative thoughts, why not try repeating some of our self-talk phrases listed above and see if they can help you.